Friday, April 11, 2008


I had the most horrible day today, it royally sucked absolutely everything that could go wrong went wrong actually this whole week hasn't exactly been wonderful at all... can a person be algeric to another person?? T.T i know this sounds absolute madness... but unfortunately it did cross my mind.... this week on i think tuesday... i went to starbucks with my boyfriend had a lovely time.... i kissed him goodbye... on the cheek..... nothin strange with that.. he kissed me goodbye on friday when he was going to work..... things have changed so much since then T.T but anyway the next day he had spots on his face... =/ then he went swiming ... his face was like red... then yesterday... it was so much worse.. i have to say i didn't feel confortable... i do have this tendency to laugh at the most inappropriate moments... its just nerves i think my emotions are so wierd i cry when i am angry or frustrated =/ whats wrong with me??? anyway yesterday i got a laughing fit when this happened to him i just couldn't control it =/

Also i made another mistake.... he text me yesterday "oh my fucking face" then i went to the library and he seriously looked terrible =/ he said to me is it worse than yesterday.... ? i said yes... ooops!!!!!! he thought it was better... then i brought him to a chemist got algery pills and worked on trying to convince him it was better =/ ah fuck ! then today i met him and he asked how is it? i said oh it is much better... but to be honest... ummm no improvement.....

That's not even the beginning of the problems and series of unfortunate events.... well first off i didn't sleep a wink last night @.@
i think, no in fact i know i am catching a cold.... i woke up so grumpy and pissed off ... everything bothered me ! one thing was i wanted to wear the jeans i got for my birthday that i had seen in the hot press that was grand i looked in there and i couldn't see... then my mom said oh i put them in your cuboard.... i went to my room to look in the cuboard.... guess what ? my sister the night before had taken everything out of the cuboard so it was like searching for a needle in a haysack Fuck! then i found out it was a different pair of jeans she had put in.... typical.. i eventually found them in the hot press

Then next thing that happened this was almost the icing on the cake! me and my boyfriend went to the bagel factory for lunch we both placed our order... i opened my purse... guess what no money HOLY SHIT!! i was like fuck fuckity fuck ... WTF happened.....
i kinda panicked... then my boyfriend noticed he's like what happened to your money...?? i have never been so embarassed in my life *^_^* then eventually i realised that my sister had taken it.... yesterday my sister asked where is my make up n i told her its in my coat pocket .... and my purse was in it....... so no surprise there... i really can't believe that girl i was so furious when i got home i screamed at her! another crappy worrying thing is normally when my boyfriend gets the train with me he always texts me when he gets to work.... and today he didn't =( ..... i am worried he is pissed off with me so i text him when i got home apologised again wished him well at work also yesterday a similar thing happened... only i text him ... be4 he started work n he replyed... hes starting to distance himself thats what it feels like anyway.... =( am i getting paranoid???? it feels like the beginning of the end

We wer even planing to go to the cinema tomorrow and he canceled thaty because he had to study... its not good signs... and to top the whole day off.. i feel sick with pain in my nose and i have a pain in my stomach ! =( if he doesn't text me tonight i am doomed =( he hasn't said i love you lately either
i hope things improve <3

Wednesday, April 2, 2008


mmmm yesterday and today i have become pretty worried about the relationship between me and my boyfriend... you know i am a strong minded person. i know what i want at least i thought i do/did.... for instance the first time i saw this guy (Zhi Bai) i knew i liked him it was like love at first sight.. even without speaking just seeing him i was attracted and from that day i was determined absolutely to some how possibly become his friend i didn't see any possibility of anything more.... so anyway eventually after alot of waiting we finally got introduced together and instantly liked him straight away..... and after knowing each other for over a month we started going out well had our first date~!! well at the beginning i was nervous... and we've had lots of things to think about our cultures are just so different.... things you couldn't imagine... like for example even the dating culture... i dunno if the way we are doing things is traditional chinese dating.... since this is the first time i ever dated a chinese guy.. and nobody else has any experience as to what to expect whats normal so i am just taking things as they come..... anyway regardless are relationship is a striking difference to the average irish relationship...


none the less i am enjoying the relationship he is such a kind and we get on really well sharing things with each other texting alot... part of my worries is when is the bubble going to burst? all good things must come to an end... i know not to think about this but it does cross my mind.... also i am concerned that perhaps its not him that i like.... i mean i have for along time maybe since 2006 i have always admired asia ... japan, korea, china..... what if its just that he is from there that i like.... but i know it can't be ... i like his personality and his country is part of who he is... so its natural he would talk about it.. and i supose someone who has no interesty whatso ever wouldn't date a chinese guy......


whatever will be will be...

que sera, sera...........

oOo! its my birthday today i forgot to mention ~ my boyfriend bought me the lovelyiest pair of shoes ~~~~!! gorgeous ~~~!! i was so delighted (o'.'o)